How Wives and Girlfriends Can Give a Better Hand Job
By Freddie Fox | Silver Fox Escorts
Let's talk about wanking. Not necessarily the sort of subject you'd bring up over Sunday lunch with the in-laws, but certainly one worth discussing.
Most men have been doing it themselves for years, so you'd think their wives and girlfriends would have a pretty good idea of what they enjoy. But knowing someone intimately and knowing exactly what they like aren't always the same thing.
And while the internet is full of advice about how to give a good hand job, some of it makes the whole business sound unnecessarily complicated. You'd be forgiven for thinking you needed a qualification.
After 17 years in the London escort business, I've had more conversations about sex than most people would have in several lifetimes. One thing I've learned is that women can be just as curious about what men enjoy as men are about women.
So I've brought five of my Silver Fox ladies into the conversation. Lainey, Andi, Chiara, Bria and Scarlett are very different characters, and that's what makes their opinions interesting.
This one's particularly for the wives and girlfriends who fancy making things a little more interesting at home. Whether you're newly together or have been sharing a bed for twenty years, there's always something worth learning.
Lainey Thinks a Good Hand Job Shouldn't Feel Like Hard Work
If you're going to talk about having fun in the bedroom, Lainey is a good woman to start with.
My lovely Brazilian blonde works from Marylebone, and she's got a playful, open-minded personality that suits this subject perfectly. She's also happy to meet couples, so she's certainly not someone who's uncomfortable talking about intimacy with women.
One thing I particularly like about Lainey's attitude is that she doesn't see why everything involving sex needs to be taken so seriously.
"I think couples sometimes forget that sex is supposed to be fun. You can have a laugh, flirt a bit and still have a fantastic time together. Not everything needs to be so serious."
She's got a point.
Imagine you've been married for fifteen years. You know each other's habits, you've heard all the same jokes and you can probably predict what your husband is going to say before he opens his mouth.
It's easy for intimacy to become just another familiar part of life.
But there's no reason a hand job has to feel like something you're doing because it's expected of you. A bit of flirting, some laughter and the occasional cheeky remark can make the whole experience feel more spontaneous.
And if something doesn't go quite as planned, who cares? You're in bed with someone you love, not auditioning for a part in a film.
I think Lainey's approach is particularly useful for women who worry too much about getting everything right. There's a difference between being attentive to your partner and putting yourself under unnecessary pressure.
The latter rarely makes anything more enjoyable.
Meet Lainey at Silver Fox Escorts.
Andi Says Stop Pretending You Know What He Wants
Andi is a confident, playful brunette with an open-minded attitude towards sex. She's also refreshingly straightforward, which is something I appreciate.
She's not the sort of woman whose personality disappears into a room full of people, and I think that confidence is worth discussing.
Because when it comes to hand jobs, wanking or practically anything else in the bedroom, there's an awful lot of pretending going on.
People pretend they know what they're doing. They pretend they enjoy things they don't particularly like. And sometimes they pretend they're perfectly satisfied because admitting otherwise might lead to an awkward conversation.
Andi has a rather sensible view of the whole business.
"There's nothing attractive about someone pretending to enjoy something because they think they're supposed to. I'd much rather people were honest about what they like. Confidence starts there."
I couldn't agree more.
If you're giving your husband or boyfriend a hand job and you're wondering whether he's enjoying himself, there's nothing embarrassing about asking.
Likewise, if something isn't particularly comfortable or enjoyable for you, you should feel perfectly able to say so.
One of the stranger things about relationships is that couples will happily discuss mortgages, holidays, children and whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher, yet asking a simple question about sex can suddenly seem terribly difficult.
And please don't assume that everything you've seen in pornography represents what men actually want.
After 17 years of working with women who have very different personalities and preferences, I can assure you that there's no such thing as one approach that suits everybody.
The same is true of men.
Andi's advice is worth remembering because confidence isn't about pretending to be an expert. It's about being comfortable enough with someone to have an honest conversation.
Take a look at Andi's Silver Fox profile.
Chiara Says Put Your Phone Down and Enjoy Each Other
Chiara is one of my Brazilian brunettes, based in South Kensington, and she's a woman who appreciates the nicer things in life.
She enjoys good restaurants, Champagne and dressing well, but she's equally happy cooking, reading or listening to music.
I rather like that combination. There's nothing wrong with a glamorous evening out, but sometimes the nicest moments happen when you've got absolutely nowhere else to be.
Which brings us to something that can ruin even the most promising romantic evening: rushing.
"People spend so much time rushing around that they forget to enjoy each other. Put your phones away, have a glass of wine if you fancy one, and actually spend some time together."
How many couples are guilty of that?
You've had a long day at work. He's answering messages, you're thinking about tomorrow's appointments, and before you know it, it's nearly midnight.
Then you wonder why neither of you feels particularly romantic.
I don't think there's anything terribly complicated about Chiara's point. If you're going to spend intimate time together, give yourselves the opportunity to enjoy it.
And that includes not treating a hand job as a race towards an orgasm.
Of course, pleasure is part of the attraction, but not every intimate moment needs to be judged by how quickly it reaches a conclusion.
There's also no need to create some elaborate romantic setting every time. You don't need a five-star hotel, a bottle of vintage Champagne and enough candles to concern the fire brigade.
Sometimes a quiet evening together, without constant interruptions, is perfectly sufficient.
Chiara enjoys both glamorous occasions and simple pleasures. I think there's something quite appealing about bringing a little of that balance into a relationship.
Bria on Keeping the Bedroom From Getting Boring
Bria is a northern girl with a cheeky side, and she's certainly not someone I'd describe as shy.
She's based in Bayswater, enjoys dressing up and roleplay, and has an adventurous streak that makes her particularly interesting for this conversation.
She also welcomes women and couples.
And although Bria enjoys plenty of ordinary things outside work, including swimming, reading and cooking, she's certainly got a playful imagination.
Which brings me to something I've never quite understood.
Why do some couples spend the first six months of a relationship flirting outrageously with each other, only to stop almost completely once they've been together for a few years?
Bria puts it rather well.
"Being together for years doesn't mean you have to behave like an old married couple every night. Flirt with each other! Make an effort occasionally. You might be surprised how much fun you have."
Quite right.
I'm not suggesting every married woman should suddenly develop an interest in elaborate roleplay or start buying costumes.
But there's nothing wrong with a little imagination.
Send your husband a cheeky message during the afternoon. Arrange an evening together that doesn't involve discussing the children or the household bills. Make an effort to flirt with him the way you did when you first met.
And if you're curious about something new, talk about it.
You might find that he's been wondering exactly the same thing.
A lot of people assume that long-term relationships naturally become less exciting. I don't think that has to be true.
Of course, nobody should feel pressured into trying anything they don't want to do. The whole point is that you're both enjoying yourselves.
Bria's certainly a woman who understands the appeal of keeping things interesting, and I think her advice is particularly relevant to couples who've fallen into the same old routine.
Scarlett Reminds Us That Men Aren't All the Same
Scarlett is a British blonde based in Aldgate, and at 38, she's one of the more mature women in this particular group.
She's confident, straightforward and not someone who needs to dress up a perfectly sensible opinion with a lot of unnecessary nonsense.
Which is rather refreshing when you're talking about sex.
Because if there's one thing I find amusing about some of the advice you read online, it's the suggestion that every man wants exactly the same thing.
Apparently, there's a secret formula for everything. Learn it once and you'll have every man eating out of your hand for the rest of your life.
If only people were that simple.
Scarlett has a much more practical view.
"Men aren't all the same, you know. What works for one might do absolutely nothing for another. The easiest way to find out what your partner likes is to ask him. It's hardly rocket science."
And that, ladies, is probably the most useful thing you'll read in this entire article.
Your husband might enjoy something that your previous boyfriend wasn't particularly interested in. Your partner's preferences might have changed over the years. Even his mood on a particular evening can make a difference.
None of that should be surprising.
Yet people still spend an extraordinary amount of time looking for universal answers to questions that are better discussed with the person they're actually sleeping with.
Ask him what he enjoys.
And while you're at it, tell him what you enjoy too.
A good sex life shouldn't involve one person doing all the work while the other simply sits back and expects to be entertained.
Scarlett's point isn't especially glamorous, but it's practical, and that's precisely why I like it.
Find out more about Scarlett at Silver Fox.
A Few Questions About Hand Jobs That Women Often Wonder About
Is It Normal to Feel Awkward Giving Your Husband a Hand Job?
Absolutely. Just because you've been with someone for years doesn't mean you automatically feel comfortable discussing every aspect of sex.
Some people are naturally more open than others, and there's nothing wrong with that.
The important thing is being able to communicate without feeling embarrassed or judged.
What If He Doesn't Enjoy Being Wanked Off?
Then don't take it personally.
Men have different sexual preferences, just as women do. Not enjoying a particular activity doesn't mean someone finds their partner less attractive.
Rather than treating it as a problem, talk about what you both enjoy.
Should I Ask Him What He Likes?
Yes. You don't need to turn it into a formal interview. A relaxed conversation is usually quite enough.
And remember that preferences can change, particularly in long-term relationships.
Does a Hand Job Always Have to End in an Orgasm?
No. Intimacy isn't a competition, and neither partner should feel pressured to achieve a particular result.
Sometimes the enjoyment comes from affection, closeness and spending time together.
The important thing is that you're both comfortable and enjoying the experience.
17 Years in the Escort Business Has Taught Me One Thing
I've met an enormous number of interesting women during my years running Silver Fox, and no two are exactly alike.
Some are outgoing, some are quieter, some are adventurous and others prefer a more relaxed approach to intimacy.
Lainey, Andi, Chiara, Bria and Scarlett are a good example of that variety.
And while they all have different personalities, I think their contributions make one thing clear: a satisfying sex life has as much to do with understanding the person you're with as anything else.
So if you've arrived here hoping to discover the secret to giving your husband or boyfriend a better hand job, perhaps the most useful thing you can do is have a proper conversation with him.
Find out what he likes. Tell him what you enjoy. Have a laugh together and don't be afraid to keep things interesting.
After all, a little curiosity can go a long way.
Freddie Fox
Silver Fox Escorts
17 years in the London escort business.
